Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

life

life will remain be there to spend..no matter caps are on or off...

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
1) The golf balls are the important things - family,children, health, Friends, and Favourite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
2) The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
3) The sand is everything else --The small stuff. '

If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first --The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

'One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled.' I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Best Email I ever recieved!

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof : Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God.. .

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent.. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & God is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.





student was none other than........ .

Muhammad Ali Jinnah , Founder of Pakistan.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Aay say Zee.

How to make a woman happy?
It’s not that difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A chef
5. A carpenter
6. An electrician
7. A plumber
8. A mechanic
9. A decorator
10. A stylist
11. A driver
12. A gynecologist
13. A psychologist
14. A pest exterminator
15. A psychiatrist
16. A heater
17. A good listener
18. An organizer
19. A good father
20. Very clean
21. Sympathetic
22. Athletic
23. Warm
24. Attentive
25. Gallant
26. Intelligent
27. Funny
28. Creative
29. Tender
30. Strong
31. Understanding
32. Tolerant
33. Prudent
34. Ambitious
35. Capable
36. Courageous
37. Determined
38. True
39. Dependable
40. Passionate
41. Compassionate

Without forgetting to:

42. Give her compliments regularly
43. Love Shopping
44. Be Honest
45. Be very rich
46. Not Stress her out
47. Not look at other girls

Easy na?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Car-nama

Dedicated to my Dinky 2:
Purani meri car hai
Chalana dushwar hai
iss mai bethna to dur ki baat
issay dekhna baikaar hai
bas tariq road tak lay chal
mere dil mai machi hai halchal
karti hogi wo intizaar
jo mera pehla pyar hai
lolzzzzzzz

Aaj bilawaja he pyar aa raha hai apni purani dost pay. I thought to dedicate a song for my dear.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Bedroom Art

My friend's brother did that in his bedroom. Wow it looks amazing. But he drew and painted that all by himself. I want this in my bedroom too...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Qissa un ki Inayat ka

Yesterday an Excise Inspector came to my home and informed me that I need to have valuation of my new home. And he told me that if I go for a fair way then I’ll have to pay 35000 every year to tax department but if I can pay him under the table then he will reduce it to 3 to 4 thousand per year. Bhala batao kia zamana aa gya hai. Sitting on my sofa drinking a glass of chilled 7up when he asked for bribe to qassam say dunia ka manhoos tareen insaan lga wo mujhey.
Anyway, now I have come up over something very new to me, and I have discovered a new phrase. Kia yaad kray gi dunia….arz kia hai….

sitaron se age jahan aur bhi hain
abhi dunia mai manhoos aur bhi hain
tahi zindagi se nahin ye fazayen
yahan saikaron bayghairat aur bhi hain

***Sorry Allama Sahab****

Saturday, October 18, 2008

بے حِس۔۔

ایک جنازہ دیکھ کہ ایک لڑکی مسکرایَ ۔ ایک بابا جی بولے "بیٹی جوان موت پہ مسکراتے نہیں"۔ لڑکی: بابا کیا کروں؟ وعدہ کیا تھا جب بھی ملیں گے مسکرا کے ملیں گے۔۔۔۔۔۔

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sitaroon say agay Jahan aur bhi hain...

One fine usual morning my Manager came to office and like every other day he put off his jacket and hung it to his locker and after shaking hands with everyone he went to his cabin. Almost in a shouting way he called upon my name and said “Fahad come here I have got something for you”, when I reached to his cabin, he showed me a wrapper of something which was then very new to me just like a spaceship from some other world. At that instant he showed it to me jitney log bhi mere saath aye thay office k excitement mai sab ultay pair wapis bhaag gaye. But I stood there calmly, I asked him whats this sir? “It will help you quit smoking” and by saying that he opened it and gave me some very small “puriya” type thingy which he later told me was Tambakoo Kheni” some thing like that. Following his order/instruction I placed that small puriya behind my lower lip and left his cabin. After few minutes I felt that I can see everything which is supposed to be or actually should be on sky wo bhi raat mai. Anyway, that didn’t helped me quit smoking but at least it helped me in a sense that on that particular day I spend most of my time sitting/relaxing/watching tv. Cuz I had a fair excuse that “mujhey aik k do nazar aa rahay hain”.
Since that day that thing has become one of my fears. And few kuttay/manhoos/_______ friends knows it that I runs off from its disgusting smell and they keep teasing me by offering it to me.

Allah pochay ga tum logoon ko.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

o_o

Photobucket


its a superman!
its batman
its a spiderman!

no its kakapooooo!