Saturday, May 22, 2004

Aah ko ik umer chahiye asar honay tak....

Alright, ppl im back, caution first of all that header doesnt have anything to do with that post, so forget abt it.
So often i thought to write something which i really wanna write, but then i found myself unable to do so. Coz i have one thing in my mind that this is the world of all sorts of ppl, who have different kindda minds. I am confused, therefore, that wheather i ought to write what i really feel like or not. Now i guess i should not care what ppl thinks of me, coz its my place and i should be feel free to write anything what i want.
My very earlier posts were actually representing that of my confusing state, coz i wrote in many hidden words, now i can't do that anymore, i wanna scream, i wanna yell, i wanna shout and let the world listen that how i am feeling from inside now days.
It was..... damn it! I can't, i just can't turn my feelings into words, im fail once again. I am sorry Fahad, i know that i dissapoint u once again but i am helpless. I know that what are the reasons for u that u aren't sleeping since two days and two long nights, coz 6ht June is comming.
6th June, a cutthroat day for me, cant bear the pain, can't wait for that day to come, can't i just remove the day from the calender? *voice of conscience* Nooooooo! gone nutts or somefin??? hahahaha..
Hmmm, yes i gone nutts really, coz now when Im standing in no-man's-land and even try to look back in my past I determines that how i dissembled anserinly. Alas if i could turn back time and cope to stop myself doing all that. Arghhhhh, this dohickey situation forcing me to jump cut to my past, to that time which I don't wanna commemorate. Anyway, life's too short to go back and lost into memories, but what to do if the sense of loosing something is killing from inside?
Haa, a poem of my own Im reciting here and hope that no-one will be able to get it right....

Jao tum! Go away!
Theek hai chali jao Alright go away
Mai nay tumhain bohat sataya hai I've troubled u alot
Mager But
Tum bhi kissi say kam nahi ho U're also the same
Mai to shehroon ki musafat per tha I was at miles' distance
Aur phir tumharay shehar mai ajnabi tha And was stranger in ur town
Ghamoon ka ik pahar tha sar per aur I was carrying a burden of sorrows over my head
Mera haal ajeeb sa tha I was so broken
Jub jatay huay uss nay mur ker poocha kay When she turned bygone and asked
"Mai jaon...?" May I leave...?

Adios.

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